I got down from the steps jumping lightly all along. Medium sized brass pots shone bright with palm trees of different varieties at regular intervals. I loved the ambience. I always feel at home when plants are around me, irrespective of whose home I am at that moment.
Sounds, rather cliched, isn’t it?
I was inside a convent then. It was the home of Sisters of an order. We had been invited there for breakfast. I loved their freshly baked; home made cakes. I have never been able to find such delicious cakes in the market.
Everyone went away; one after the other. I, my usual absent minded self, forgot the way I had entered. I probably had been admiring the plants and had followed them to the basement.
I was passing through a long dark corridor then. On either side, were rows of rooms. All their blue doors were securely locked. On the farthest end, was the exit door which had tall windows with stained glasses on either side. That area seemed a little bright, because of light filtering in from them.
I had crossed more than a couple of rooms, when I suddenly stopped in my tracks. My hands covered my open mouth in awe.
There was a huge light coming out from one of the rooms.A light so strange and bright, that it pierced the door and the walls and bathed the corridor in front of me from the roof to the floor. Infact, nothing of these could be seen for the light seemed to have dissolved them all. I remained mesmerized for how long; I cannot tell. Waves and waves of light flowed out dissolving me in it. It was pure bliss.
It was when the light receded that I came back into consciousness. I went to the exit door and then climbed out into the bright sunshine.
I was about to drive back home, when I was overcome with a desire to enter that room. What was there in it?
I, on reaching the convent, reqùested one of the lady helpers to take me there.
She looked at me with a shock on her face.
” We do not allow anyone there. Some of our sisters stay there.” She said tersely.
Anyone probably meant other than Christians here. But I had just moved out from there. She, probably did not know that.
“It’s alright. Call you please call one of the Sisters?””
“No, they are all in the Chapel. You cannot meet them.”
“Are they downstairs in the basement?” I asked.
“I told you that, they are all in the Chapel, which is upstairs.” She said and moved away.
Very strange! 😟
Why did I think that the Chapel was downstairs in that room? I do not know why; but I could see a long cross with Jesus mounted on it, hanging on the wall there. I could see benches there. But it all seemed and felt very lonely…in my mind”s eye.
What wild imagination I had.😇😇 There was not even a Chapel there!😔
I need to reign in my mind. Probably, some old divine sister lived in one of those rooms. She exuded light in waves like this!😳😳😳
I waited for two hours and then went off home.
The next day, I asked one of the sisters.
” Do you all stay in the basement rooms?”
She looked surprised.
” Not all.” She said.
” Do I know all of the sisters here? I mean, is there some very Senior Sister, who does not come to this hospital and stays in one of the basement rooms?” I asked.
Her eyes were getting stranger by my questions.
“No, you have seen them all.” She said and continued to gaze at me.
” Is there a prayer room in the basement?” I asked.
Her mouth fell open.
” There was one in there; a long time back. It is no longer used now. Rarely do we open that room again. Why do you ask? Have you ever entered our basement?” She asked, surprised.
I knew not what to say. I had understood that the basement was not to be trespassed. I had inadvertently done so. Just then, the attendant called in to say that my patients were waiting.
I got up immediately.
At the door, I turned again and said, “Jesus hangs from a large wooden cross on the wall there, his face towards the exit gate. He continues to bless us all. Yesterday, by mistake, I had entered that corridor on my way back from the convent.”
” Oh, its alright then. But the old Chapel door was locked, isn’t it?” She asked, perplexed.
I did not answer this one too.
Can we mere human beings keep the Son of God, Jesus, really locked?
That was my first celestial experience with Jesus. In the hills here, there are places, where he stands in the form of a statue, both his arms extended, calling out to all to seek refuge in him. I do not know, why tears well my eyes, when I see them. I have felt the same in some temples and Masjids too.
Probably my soul suddenly remembers it’s eternal home and craves to go back and dwell in absolute bliss forever.
Please note: Narrated as it happened. A very personal experience. This description has to be understood from the heart and not the head. Hence this is not open for contesting. If it appeals fine, if not, it is fine too.
She had been pulled reluctantly into a circle. The circle consisted of
closed knit family members sitting on the floor and staring intently in the middle. An old lady sat on one side, her face covered with the end of her saree. She seemed old and frail. All eyes alternated between her face and the ground in the middle of the circle.
Tanu felt very uncomfortable. She just wanted to leave the place. She was about to stand up when her mother in law looked at her with eyes full of disapproval.
“Once in here, no one can leave.”
The old lady said softly.
She then turned her veiled face towards the mother in law.
” Who is she?”. She asked.
” My daughter in law. The bride of my second son. She does not believe in such things as these. What do you make out of her?” She said.
There was a sudden silence.
The veiled lady turned slowly towards Tanu. Tanu baulked as the lady studied her minutely, her face still hidden.
Some moments of tensed silence ensued.
The lady seemed to break into a smile..
” She is just afraid of all this. She is good.” She said, with a sudden fondness in her voice.
The tension seemed to give away a bit.
” Close your eyes…all of you. I am calling him.” The veiled lady said with a sudden finality in her voice.
All did so at once.
Tanu watched everyone intently. The fear was now replaced with inquisitiveness. They had said that something would just surface in the middle of the circle.She watched carefully from her slit like eyes..
The circle was big. She watched the hands of all. They were all open with their palms stretched out. All windows and doors were closed. She checked out the ventilators. They were securely locked.
The room light was dim. Faint light of the setting sun shone on the ventilator glass.
She concentrated again in the middle.
” Give me…I say. Give me eight number of TAVEEJ. They need your protection.” The lady said.
” Uff…uff…too difficult. Its painful..manage with four…manage with four..” She muttered again.
” No way..I want eight numbers..one for each of my family member.” Mother in law insisted.
“Ok..Ok..I am trying. Give me..give me..uff..uff..give ..I said..give.” The lady cried and moaned.
Tanu was excited by then. She stared at the lady. Probably she will quietly put some in the middle.
” They are coming..yes they are coming.” The lady said joyfully.
Tanu looked at the ventilator glass. Probably it will shatter and they will fall in, she thought. She again shot a quick look at the lady’s hidden hands and then that of others. They all sat with eyes closed in anticipation with their palms stretched out. She looked at the ground in the middle and then her heart almost stopped beating! A handful of Taveej just sprang in there from nowhere! She looked behind her. THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO ONE.
There was a sudden jubilation all around. The lady seemed exhausted. Mother in law was holding all of them as if they were a handful of diamonds. Tanu remained fascinated and excited..suspicious and fearful..
What was all this?
She had spent all her hitherto life in a city. Her scientific mind dissected the scene again and again minutely. Had she missed something?
A very important clue perhaps. But then they had suddenly sprang up right in front of her studying eyes…
She suddenly wanted to leave. Mother in law had more questions.
Someone had harmed them..had cast a black spell..
Tanu sprang up with a shot. She could not bear it any more. She opened the door and ran out. The others kept yelling asking her to stop.
She did not look back and rushed up the stairs to her infant daughter.
” What’s wrong Didi? You look upset.” The maid said alarmed, when she saw her.
” Oh..it’s nothing. Do make a strong cup of tea for me with ginger.” She told her.
She wanted to be alone. Her child smiled warmly, cycling her little feet rapidly in the air. Caressing her in her arms, she soon forgot the strange occurings below.
It was after two hours that her Mother in law came in to the Shiva temple on their floor. The time of evening Puja has since long past. She was excited and brimming with information.
” You ran away from there. What not emerged from below the foundation of our four story building!” She said,excitedly, on seeing her.
Tanu stared in disbelief.
” How did they dig below the building?” She asked.
” So silly you are! She just asked
the spirits and they emerged in that circle. A part of my saree which I wore thirty years ago with my hair..and what not..” She added.
” What does it mean?”Tanu looked askance at her.
” It simply means that wicked people..our enemies have been trying to hurt us from so long. They stole these materials of mine to cast a dark spell. How trying times I had had all through my life! Today I have uprooted it completely. Of course, I have paid quiet a hefty sum to bring that lady here.” She said triumphantly.
Tanu knew not what to think. It all still seemed fake…
But she had seen it with her own eyes.
Was it real or was she hallucinating?
“You wear this Taveej and
tie this one around your
daughter’s right arm.” Mother in law’s voice brought her back to the present.
“I don’t need this.” Tanu protested.
” You will have to do as I say.” She said sternly.
Tanu remained adamant.
” This is for your own good. This is to keep your daughter safe. You know not what great harm will come on her otherwise. You have no idea about all this.” She said.
Her husband joined the rhetoric too. Sometimes Tanu wondered whether he really had his senses intact. Quietly, she slid the Taveej around her arm and that of her child.
It seemed like a weird thing sticking on her.
Oh God! Keep us all safe! What awful things goes on in this strange forested land. She thought of her hometown Nagpur. A sudden sigh escaped off her.
A week passed off awkwardly.
She felt as if she was being watched constantly… by whom she could not tell. She asked the others. All were wearing them and were at ease.
The nagging feeling continued in her. She brushed it aside as a figment of her imagination.
It was early evening that day. The orange sun had left mild traces of it’s colour in the far horizon and had slipped into slumber. The rest of the sky was bluish grey and dark. The temple bells were ringing. Chonch shells were being blown in the neighbourhood houses. Tanu who was watching all this from the terrace
rushed downstairs to her floor. It was time for evening puja. The rooms were still dark. Her daughter was sleeping peacefully. Little light filtered from the corridor tubelight. She bent over to wake up her daughter.
It was then when someone bent on her… Strong arms encircled her from behind towering over her…gripping her tightly…
Terror stricken, she tried to shout..but could not…her feet seemed frozen…Oh Shiva…Oh Shiva…please help….she said repeatedly within her.
He suddenly let her go…the grip loosened. The next moment, she clasped her child in her arms and rushed off outside…into the lighted corridor. She jerked both the Taveej out of their arms and threw them on to the floor.
Her daughter clung to her in panic as Tanu watched the two Taveej dancing with great energy on the floor in utter disbelief.
When they stopped, her heart was still beating wildly.
When she emerged out of the adjoining Shiva temple, her mother in law seemed furious as she stood near the fallen Taveez.
” You cannot even..”She started saying.
Tanu interrupted her.
” Why have you built a Shiva temple in your house when you have no faith in him? If you have faith then, why do you call in dark forces to watch over us?” Tanu interjected.
Both fell silent at this sudden recognition.
PROTECTION BY DARK UNSEEN FORCES!
Tanu handed her child to her and then took the two Taveej and threw them far off, into a distant pool of water. The splash seemed to calm her down.
She had learnt a hard lesson. She would need it to survive in this strange land.
“I do not need you any more. Do you understand? I do not need you any more. I can see now. I CAN SEE. I DO NOT NEED YOU. I CAN SEE..” He was filled with wrath. His eyes flashed. He was dancing in anger.
I looked at his eyes. They were still white in the middle because of his cataract. He looked a lot slimmer but healthy. How could he suddenly start seeing again?
I woke up with a start. My heart was racing. It was cold but I was sweating. I fumbled for the torch and put it on. It was 3 a.m.
The dogs were howling outside in unison today. A chill ran down my spine.
I gulped some water to soothe my parched throat.
I tried to sleep…but it had flown miles away.
“Oh God! Please keep him well.” I said within me, again and again.
He had come to me about a couple of months back. Tall, dark, unkempt and smelly ,I had found it a little hard to hear all of his story. The smell seemed overpowering. I could see my colleague and friend making faces at me.
She shook a mask at me and said,
“Do you know what is this paper mask used for? To cover noses especially big ones like yours when such kind of people enter.”
I feigned acute deafness and continued talking.
Both his eyes had become nearly blind. He somehow managed to find his way around.
” You need to be operated as soon as possible. Do these tests and come back to show me the reports.” I said.
” Who will pay for this?” He asked defiantly.
“Its not much. It might cost you a sum Rupees 20 to 30. Thats it.” I shrugged my shoulders and told him.
“I have Rupees ten. If I give you that, what will I eat?” He asked.
I knew not what to say.
” Did you bring someone with you?”I asked.
” You need to go downstairs for these tests.” I added.
” I have no one in this world. I have…had a family but they threw me out of the house. I now stay and sleep on the roads.” He said.
I summoned the attendant and told her to accompany him for the tests.
” He neither has relative nor money.”
She took him along cheerfully.
Another three hours swished off…
” Take these reports. I am hungry. Give me food now!” I heard him suddenly again.
He had come back. ..
His reports were normal.
” Good. I will operate on your eyes next week. Start these..”
” Give me food!” He said angrily.
I summoned the attendant and handed over a note of Rs 100.
” Buy a plate of rice for him.” I told her.
He ate hungrily. I felt sorry for him.
Soon this became a regular affair. He just came and sat outside my room and demanded food. He left only after eating. Soon I started losing my sympathy. His sight started irritating me.
” Can”t you bring at least one person with you? I can operate on you then.” I asked.
The hospital rules required that one attendant should accompany one patient.
” I do not have anyone.” He said dejectedly.
I knew not what to do. Unforseen complications could arise on the operation table. Besides that, medicines and eyedrops needed to be put regularly after the operation and cleanliness had to be maintained. Without it, the operated eye could get infected and become blind and very painful for life.
I had serious doubts on that count.
Perhaps I could put him in some old age home first. They would take proper care of him. One such home agreed to take him after much efforts.
I informed him jubilantly when he came the next day.
He flatly refused.
“I do not like to be tied down. I love my freedom.” He said and went off.
I feared for his life. The vagabond that he was ..I ran into him everyday near my house begging for food and money.
He lost his temper on seeing me.
” You can help me see if you want..but you won’t. You are wicked.” He shouted at me, shaking his hand.
Onlookers stared at me. I understood his predicament and helplessness. My hands were tied too.
I went to the Superintendent of the hospital.
” Madam, do let me operate on this patient. He has no one.” I implored.
“Do you believe him? Can a person have no one at all? If you operate a beggar, there is almost a hundred percent chance of his eyes getting infected.” She said.
“Do you really think a person sleeping on the roads will maintain the stringent hygiene standards required after operation? Insist on him that he needs to be in the age old home for at least a month. If he agrees you can go ahead.” She said sternly.
Perhaps my face fell.
” We do not want to be in the news for the wrong reasons. As it is, every other day we make headlines. False and little things get blown out of proportion. You have good in your heart. If something goes wrong…relatives will surface from nowhere. I have seen it happen too many times. No relative will come to donate blood and then in the case of death they will all descend from nowhere. We have to be practical.” She added.
I went back thinking hard. I was feeling increasingly defiant. If I could do it cladestinely in some private hospital…but we were not allowed to operate in a private setting. What if the patient really developed the infection?
A thousand thoughts whirled away in the sea of my mind. I found no shore of answer.
He continued shaking a fist on seeing me much to the amusement of those on the road.
” One month in old age home only. After that back to freedom.” I requested him.
He almost pushed me away in anger.
I went my way. I hoped I did not run into him every day but I always did.
That’s life. One always attracts whatever one does not want.
They call it the Law Of Attraction.
Then one day, he turned quiet. I was filled with trepidation. Things had turned for the worse. His cataract had matured further. I and the rest of the world were truly fading away in his eyes. His end was nearing.
That day, I had just managed to push him away from a speeding car.
The morning rush always left me overwhelmed. I reached the hospital exactly at 10 a.m. The doctor on night duty looked relieved and happy on seeing me.
“Thank God it is over! What horrible harrowing duty hours I had last night.” She said, collapsing on her chair.
” Why? What happened? Ravaged by drunkards or drug addicts? Were they Medico – legal cases or deaths in the wards? ” I asked.
” No, accident.” She said.
“A horrible accident. The truck ran over a man near your area. His chest was crushed and his intestines were out. His skull…”
My heart seemed to be sinking.
” Was he a tall…dark man and somewhat stinking? Did it happen around 3 a.m.in the morning?” I asked, my voice trembling.
” How on earth do you know that?” She asked, her eyes wide with surprise.
” Where is he now?” I asked.
A part of me hoped it was all wrong. That he still lived … That some other tall and dark person had died. Of course, there was no dearth of them in this world.
” He is in the mortuary. You will not be able to see him and others there.Why subject yourself to suffering? Sit here and try to save the living. I will leave now.” She said and
Perhaps he was alive. This could not be him. Probably he was some other man.
” Oh..I forgot to tell you something. He had cataract in both his eyes. Poor man..” The doctor called back from the door before leaving..
My days were filled with agony and guilt. I saw him everyday yelling angrily ‘I CAN SEE’ in my dreams. This went on for more than three months.
Slowly ….I started finding solace in his words. The hand of God had restored his sight. I asked for forgiveness each time he appeared.
Eventually he left my dreams alone. He also left me wiser.
I now inform the local police station and get a constable waiting as I restore sight in blind eyes with no attendants, with the blessings of God.
Is he still watching over me? Probably …from a place where he has fathomless joy, sight and freedom.
Visits since 2017
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